This morning I woke up at about 5am and was unable to fall back asleep. This was my first night of "natural" sleep, so I figured it was a victory to make it that late and decided to get up for the day. Besides, we had our second meeting with Louis just 4 hours later and I was excited. Below is a view from the kitchen on our floor where I now spend my early mornings. Coincidentally, one of the St. Paulites I met yesterday morning was also in the kitchen (you guessed it- couldn't sleep) so I got caught up on how things went with their new little guy the day before (he said it went great, although they could tell there was quite an attachment to the foster mom- a challenge we all face).
So after getting dressed and ready for our second meeting, we headed to our designated meeting room and waited. It was actually the same room in which we met Louis on Monday. He and the foster mom were a few minutes late, but he arrived as we thought- wrapped tight on his foster mom's back...half asleep. It was the same time as Monday's first meeting, so we thought we might be doomed to repeat the same routine if he was tired once again. Heck, some of us just have a hard time before we have a nice morning nap, right?
Our thoughts proved to be true as Louis got unwrapped and brought down off his foster mom's back. He looked around, realized where he was, and started his sad cry once again, just as he had done on Monday. It was even tougher for us this time, because we knew the next meeting would not be a dress rehearsal and we needed to make a connection if we were to kick things off on the right foot this Friday afternoon. Below you will see a heartbreaking picture of Louis wimpering in his foster mom's lap. Although the picture doesn't show it, there was a wet spot on her pant leg where his tears were falling.
The social worker thought it best that she and the foster mom leave the room and let us spend some alone time with Louis. It was about 9:20am at this time and typically you have an hour for these meetings. We thought that was a great idea and would give us a chance to break him out of his shell, something we knew was possible because of how our first meeting ended on Monday.
Tiff took him and held him as he cried a little as the foster mom and social worker left the room. It was the first time we were together- alone. Although the pictures below show his sadness, he was clinging to Tiff as she tried to cheer him up. This was a good thing and much better than any sign of rejection, which is always a possibility.
We tried to engage him with a few toys, but with no success. Finally Tiff told me to grab the bag of "yogurt melts" we had brought in case true bribery was needed ;). She gently put one in his mouth and he let it sit between his teeth and lips, not sure what he thought of it and whether he should spit it out or chew it up. After a minute or so he relented and started chewing. Tiff gave him another one and it was at that moment we felt we had a true breakthrough. Instead of putting it into his mouth he reached up to feed it to Tiff. What a moment! What a feeling! (The picture below was actually a second take on the entire event because I was not prepared for such a wonderful photo op and luckily Louis is a very generous and sharing soul!)
Now we were having fun! Tiff continued to hold him while I used the large stuffed animals to help bring him out of his shell. The picture below shows the beginnings of his first of many smiles.
At this point he felt comfortable enough to be let down on his own, and we discovered he really liked playing with the "teapot" full of balls. For a while we simply took the balls out and put the balls in- he was having a blast...and so were we!
We even brought the toy car into the fun. He sat in it sideways, but never got all the way in. (I can tell, however, that he has an affinity for old Detroit muscle, so Dad don't sell the 442 just yet!)
I think he liked picking up the balls and putting them back into the tea pot more than he liked taking them out, which will make him a
pefect playmate for Liv, who is quite the opposite!
Around 9:50am the foster mom and social worker came back into the room. When he saw his foster mom he ran across the room to give her a big hug. They asked how long he had cried and were pleased when we told them he didn't really cry at all and were really pleased when they saw the fun he was having. The foster mom brought us a gift, so we used our last 5 minutes to open it and see what she had given us. We got a hanbok (sized for a 2 year old), several of his favorite toys, and a stack of pictures that had been taken with the camera we sent over as a gift many months ago. We were very appreciative for all the items, especially his favorite toys, as they will come in handy on the long flight.
Because of the tight schedules, there was another family due to use the room and we had to move out into the hallway near where we were after Monday's meeting. Our situation moved even closer to permanent as we got more paperwork including his pre-flight documents, diapers, bottles, etc. While Tiff was getting all of this handed to her and explained in detail, I took it upon myself to keep an eye on Louis (or rather chase him), as he took it upon himself to run up and down the hallways and explore every open door and even the closed ones. Here he is after finding a toy in the waiting room. He didn't want to ride it, but he sure liked pushing it around!
After we got all of the paperwork and information, it was around 10:10am. Wow, it's amazing what can happen in just a short hour! The social worker needed to get back to work, but she noticed how well things were going and asked if we'd like to spend more time with Louis before he went home. Of course we were thrilled, so we got to "hang out" with him until 10:30am before he'd have to head home once again, for the last time. We took him in the elevator up to our room and he really enjoyed the ride. The movement of the elevator and the mirrors inside really provided entertainment.
We took out some of the toys we had brought for the trip home and he settled right in and started playing with them. Here he is below learning how to use the toy "camera":
As you can imagine, 10:30 am came very quickly, so we made the fun elevator trip once again (Louis got to push the "down" button this time, making it an even better experience) to meet his foster mom. He was happy to see her, but was quickly distracted by a foster father and little girl in the waiting room beyond. What happened next sums up what we have learned so far about Louis. The little girl had her shoes off while sitting on her foster dad's lap. The shoes were sitting on the seat next to them, and Louis promptly went up to them, surveyed the situation, and picked up the shoes to give to the foster dad to put on the little girl. Such a great little helper!
Then, as if things weren't going well enough, something else happened that really gave us reason to smile. When he was called back over to be wrapped up for departure on his foster mom's back, Tiff was squatting next to the foster mom. He turned and ran back over to us, but instead of stopping at his foster mom, he actually ran past her to give Tiff a big hug goodbye. The foster mom made a joke of it, but we could tell she had a bitter-sweet feeling toward what had just happened. Louis, or Ha Joon as he will always be known to her, has been with his foster mom longer than any other child she has cared for. It will be a tough afternoon for her on Friday and we are eternally grateful for all she has done for our little Louis.
I wish I had video of how well Louis climbs up on his foster mom's back...what a pro!
For those of you who have stuck with what will surely be my longest blog post, I thought I would share some interesting insights we have learned today about Louis through our questions and his pre-flight report:
- He weighs 12.7 kg, or 28 lbs!
- He wakes 3x per night, gets a bottle each time, then falls back asleep (this won't mean much to the non-parents out there, but wow we should be sleeping through the night by this stage!)
- He doesn't like cheese- in fact he spits it out!
- He started walking at 12 months and a few days
- He sleeps on a Futon with his foster dad
- To comfort him, she holds him and says "I love you"
- If anyone says "I love you" he comes up to the person and holds them
- He can tell each family member's belongings and brings them to each person (Liv, Guido, and Gabbey will really enjoy this!)
- He chose the thread, which stands for longevity, at the Doljabi ceremony at his Dol (first birthday)
I also thought I'd try posting a video of Louis playing with us today. Still pictures do him no justice- he needs video to show how cute he is :). Until next time- thanks for reading and supporting us!
