Departure for the Airport

The day that was to mark the first of adventure to get Louis started with its own mini-adventure.  Grandma Sheryl had stayed the night and the plan was to drop us at the airport so we didn't have to leave a car.  Okay, sounds good so far...

Livia is not a morning person (neither is Tiff- I wonder if Louis will be?).  So it was no surprise that when Tiff woke her up she was crabby and whining.  What wasn't supposed to happen was the gusher of a bloody nose she got while sitting on the "potty".  What really wasn't supposed to happen was the fact that it wasn't slowing.

After about 10-15 minutes and getting to the point where we needed to be out the door, we decided to say our goodbyes, put Liv with Grandma in front of the TV with cartoons, and head off, the plan being Pop and Grandma (Grossbauer) can pick up the car when they arrive from Michigan.  And just so they and everyone reading can locate it, here it is:

Finally, we were at the airport and soon to be boarding the plane for Detroit and then to Seoul.  What a relief!  (And now the rest of the story: Liv's nosebleed stopped soon after we left, proving once again Murphy's Law.)

TRAVEL CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The phone rang at 7:20am yesterday morning.  It is probably the best phone call we'll ever get.  Life has been a whirlwind the last 24+ hours.  We leave on Sat. and come home Saturday September 3rd at 8:38 pm.  I realize it's a holiday weekend but I hope that some of you will be able to welcome Louis home at the airport.  Our families will be there and the group shouldn't be too hard to find.  We'll post as often as we can while we are there.  Thanks for all of your support the last year and a half!!! 

What We Want You to Know About Attachment

I've been dreading writing this post, mostly because I fear adverse reactions, but now that we know we'll be traveling soon, it's time to talk about some hard stuff. I wished I had done this type of blog entry on Liv’s blog in 2007. Perhaps it would have shed some light on why we made some of the decisions that we did.


Attachment refers to the indisputable bond between a parent and a child. When a child is born, everyone marvels at how the baby turns his head upon hearing his mother's voice. Even less than one day old, a child knows who his mother is. When a child is separated from his mother, as in being placed for adoption, that child suffers a loss. He no longer knows who his mother is.


Louis was placed with his foster family after being in the nursery at Eastern Social Welfare Society for eight weeks. It is common for adoptive parents to go and help in the nursery while they are in Korea. We did this in 2007 and I would say there are easily 40+ babies there with only a few nurses. Thankfully, Louis was finally placed with a foster family where he has been given the opportunity to form a new attachment to a consistent and loving caregiver.


We are anxiously waiting for our travel call, but Louis is not waiting for us. He will be approximately 16 months old when we go get him. Within that time span, upon entering our family, he will have suffered the loss of his birth-mother, nursery caregivers, foster brother, and foster family. He will suffer the loss of his birth-country, language, food, smells, and everything familiar to him. He will be placed in the arms of two odd-looking strangers, board a plane full of odd people, and enter a new home with weird smells, weird animals (dogs), weird food, and unfamiliar surroundings. Despite the fact that he will only be 16 months old, it will take time for him to trust us, to bond with us, to attach to us. And he will grieve his losses.


This is where parenting through adoption differs greatly from parenting through birth. When a child is born through birth, as previously discussed, he knows who his mother is. He can be held and played with by others, yet still turns his head upon hearing his mother's voice. Upon entering our family, Louis will not have that biological connection to us. He will not know who his parents are, and it's our job to develop that connection and attachment over time. How do we do that? By being loving, consistent care givers and by being his only care givers for a certain amount of time.


This is where the discussion gets tough, because the last thing we want to do is push well-meaning, excited family and friends away during this most exciting time for us, but if you think about this logically, it makes sense. If Louis is held, fed, and cared for by multiple, inconsistent care givers shortly after being placed in our family, how will he discern who his new parents are? Plain and simple, he won't. How long will it take Louis to attach to us? We don't know, because every child is different.


The best thing we can do at this point is to help family and friends understand that we will need some space once Louis arrives. We will need time to bond as a family, and we will need people to understand that there are good reasons for keeping him all to ourselves for awhile. In the end, the more quickly he becomes comfortable with us, the more quickly we can start introducing him to new people and places. And we need you to trust that our understanding about attachment comes from experience, classes through our agency, articles, books, research, and personal accounts from other adoptive families.


Thanks in advance for your support and understanding!


Thank you to Jen W., a fellow adoptive parent, who granted me permission to tailor her words to the entry above. I wish I could be as articulate with these things as she is!

Good News- Legals!

We got good news today!  Louis's legals finally arrived from Korea.  This is the first milestone in the series of things that need to happen before we can go to get him.  We took this for granted with Liv because her legals came with her referral and we didn't have to wait at all.  Unfortunately all the red tape is going to take longer for Louis than it did for Liv.  Now that we have our legals, our agency can file for our I600 petition with US Citizenship and Immigration Services.  Then we wait again for that approval.  In the meantime there is a lot of paperwork that needs to go through the Korean government.  It is a very frustrating process and a lot to explain to people who haven't been through this.  So, I won't bore you any more with the details.  We just want it done so we can bring our baby home!  

Challenge- How Much You Can Fit in a 1-Gallon Ziploc?

We get to send over 2 1-Gallon Ziploc care packages for Louis.  Here is a picture of everything I fit in his first bag.  Hopefully it will make it to Korea in time for his foster mom to receive at his next well baby check-up.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that his foster family will know how to work the digital camera.  Most people send disposable cameras but I want lots of pics so I thought I'd take my chances.  It's actually  pretty amazing how much you can squish into one of those bags.  I still had a little room to spare so I added a taggie book that isn't in the picture.  I hope that he will get to bring the lovey stuff home like Liv did.  To this day she still carries her baby everywhere with her in the house.   

Our Family is Growing!!!

On September 22, 2010 our family of 3 officially became a family of 4!  Louis Nelson was born on March 25, 2010 in South Korea and is waiting for us with his foster family in Seoul. 

We don't expect to travel to Seoul for up to 11 months, but we're already looking forward to bringing our little guy home to introduce to everyone!  Liv is also excited to have a little brother and keeps telling us "she will be nice to him".

Hope all is well with you and yours,


Scott, Tiff, and Livia



Louis Nelson 3 months old